SOo, what happens after THAT
by stingingcake
Summary: After the events of chapter 160, there is some awkwardness in the air and Wide Eyes is having none of it. So Einar and him trick Gudrid and Thorfinn onto a dingy so the two can talk about what happened with Thorkell. ThorfinnxGudrid (gudfinn?)
1. Chapter 1

"Okay, enough's enough." Wide Eyes said, "You two have been making everything weird around here ever since you got on the boat. What exactly happened?"

"Well…" Thorfinn started, "You see…"

"Umm, so I…" Gudrid said at the same time.

"Oh, you can go."

"No, you." she insisted, "He is your uncle, right?"

"But you were the one to fight him."

"But it was only because... you..." Gudrid turned bright red again, her words slowing to a trickle.

Thorfinn also clammed up, looking lost.

"See!" Wide Eyes exclaimed, "This is what I mean! And those guys won't tell me what happened either, so I'm just here twiddling my thumbs like a dope. You two need to talk and work it out!"

"Well, it's private!" Gudrid said, "Or at least it should be."

"Yeah! And there's no privacy on this boat." Thorfinn backed her up.

"No privacy?" The other Thorfinn repeated skeptically.

Einar let out a snicker.

"What!?" The three of them burst.

"Oh, nothing." Einar replied, "Hey, Thorfinn, could you help me with this dingy? Leif told me to make sure it's all ship shape."

Thorfinn looked relieved to get out of the conversation, "Oh, sure thing."

He jumped down, to see it was perfectly fine. "It's all-"

"Hey- put me dow-" Gudrid's cries were cut off by Einar calling down:

"Heads!"

"What?" Thorfinn asked.

Were it not for his battle honed reflexes, Thorfinn wouldn't have caught her. Briefly he checked to make sure she was alright, then back at his 'friends,' "What are you guys-"

"You two said you needed privacy." Einar explained, while he started trying to push the dingy away from the main boat, Wide Eyes saw what he was doing and started helping.

"You want to maroon us?" Thorfinn asked.

"No, you'll be tied to the boat still." Einar replied.

Wide Eyes held up the rope, it looked sturdy enough.

"I could just pull in the rope." Thorfinn shot back.

"We won't help you up." Wide Eyes declared.

Thorfinn then realized he was still holding Gudrid. She had gone so quiet he'd almost forgotten she was there. He set her down on her feet, with a "Sorry."

"Oh, no, it's fine. Thank you for catching me."

They drifted further from the main boat.

"Well I couldn't let you fall."

She blushed cutely at that. After a moment, she opened her mouth as if to say something, but closed it, only to repeat the process.

"You don't have to say anything." Thorfinn reassured.

"No, they're right. We should talk about this." Then quickly she added, "Unless you don't want to."

"I… uh…"

"I made it weird." Gudrid said. "I'm sorry."

"No, it's not- It's Thorkell's fault if it's anybody's."

"Mmhmm. He's strangely intuitive." She sat on the bench in the boat. "I didn't really realize it until he said something." She covered her face in her hands, "Ugh, this is so embarrassing. You probably hate me now."

"Why would I hate you?"

"Because you're just nice to me, and I go and fall for you." she said, then whimpering, "I'm pathetic."

"You stopped me from having to fight Thorkell, I think you've got more guts than I do." He said honestly.

"You have to stop saying things like that if you want me to stop feeling like this."

Thorfinn blinked. "Saying stuff like what?"

"You're so oblivious!"

"I've been told."

They were quiet for a bit.

"You know," Gudrid started, "You've never said how you feel about all of this. I'd rather you just tell me whatever it is you're thinking."

"To be honest, I don't know what I'm thinking." Thorfinn answered, and Gudrid believed him, "I do care about you, but I've never liked anyone like that." He laughed awkwardly, "I might not even know if I'm feeling it."

"Oh. That… makes sense." She fiddled with her fingers, "Would you, would you want to just go back to the way things were until you figure it out?" she asked.

"Is that even possible?"

"I don't know. We could try. It would be the most fair to both of us I think."

"I'm sorry." Thorfinn apologised, "You save my life and I don't even know how to give you a proper answer."

"No, no, really, it's fine! And I didn't really save your life, and you saved me right before that so… We're even!" She looked down at her hands, "And… I want your answer to be sure."

"Thank you Gudrid." He smiled, "To be honest, I feel sort of conflicted for all of this."

She tilted her head in question.

"After all I've done I definitely don't deserve any love, especially from someone like you… but at the same time it feels really nice and sort of… proves I'm a different person than I was."

Gudrid groaned. "See, now I want to hug you." she grumbled, and then sending a barrage of light punches his way, exclaimed, "Stop doing that!"

"What?" he asked, catching her fists in his hands. "Do you want me to stop telling the truth?"

"No." she conceded, "but at this rate there's no way I'm going to stop liking you."

"Who said I wanted you to stop liking me?" he said, "It might make me feel conflicted, but that doesn't mean I don't like it. Besides, you're one of the only girls I could say is my friend, if I were to love anyone like _that_ she'd probably be someone I'm friends with!"

He dropped her hands that he had somehow shifted from restraining, to out right hand holding. Gudrid's blush returned with a bright fury.

"L-love?" she stuttered as Thorfinn also turned red.

"I didn't mean- Well I do maybe, but-"

Gudrid said, "We're just going to keep going in circles, aren't we?"

"Maybe." Thorfinn agreed, "I really will try and sort out how I feel about this. And give you a real answer." Sheepishly he added, "I really am sorry about that."

"Thank you." She wiped something from her eye. She'd been tearing up, be it from the sea mist, wind, or emotion, Thorfinn couldn't tell. He felt out of his depth yet again in this interaction. She sniffed and said, "I'm getting cold, we should make them pull us in now."

"Good idea." He turned toward the boat, "HEY GUYS, PULL US BACK IN!"

"WHAT?" Einar yelled back.

"PULL US BACK IN."

"DID YOU TWO WORK IT OUT?"

Gudrid huffed with annoyance, "YES!" she yelled, "NOT THAT IT'S ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS!"

The rope went taut, and their friends pulled them back in. The rest of the crew all looked at the pair as if searching for some difference. There was more of an ease between the two, but a tension was still there.

"You guys really work it out?" Wide Eyes asked.

With an exasperated huff, Thorfinn said, "As much as we can right now, happy?"

The other Thorfinn narrowed his eyes in suspicion, but shrugged, "Well, it is better now. Sorry to put you guys on the spot like that, but it is close quarters."

They all get back to work and the incident is, for all intents and purposes, put behind them; Thorfinn now with a new internal struggle to deal with. How did one know if they were feeling something they had never felt before.

In a rather removed sense he knew he wouldn't mind being married to Gudrid. She was beautiful, the two of them got along well, and in a way it would make up for 'stealing' her. But she deserved better than him settling and he knew that. She deserved better than him in general, but for all her ignorance and naivaty about his past, she wasn't stupid and he knew she could make her own decisions.

A few hours later, there was a parting in the clouds and a ray of light came down. He looked up and saw Gudrid practicing a knot with the light caressing her hair. It brought out the lighter tones in her dark hair and the concentration in her eyes. The sight of her elicited a strange feeling inside him; his heartbeat sped up, his body felt light, and the rest of the world seemed farther away while she seemed incredibly close.

It wasn't the first time he'd felt this way either, but something was different now. He wasn't sure what it was, but it sparked a thought.

Could this be…?

The sun passed, but the feeling lingered after. Thorfinn stopped staring, albeit reluctantly, and treasured the feeling. It felt good, warm- comfortable even. He wasn't sure about many things, but he was sure about this. He wanted to feel it again. He wanted to know what it meant.

❤︎


	2. Chapter 2

"Sooo…" Thorfinn started, "You want to learn how to fight?"

Gudrid nodded seriously.

"And you want me to teach you?"

She nodded again.

He froze for a moment. "Why?"

She took a breath and said, "We're going to some new places and I want to be prepared. Last time we were in a battle I had to rely on you and Hild. I don't want to be just a burden."

"Gudrid, you aren't a burden." Thorfinn reassured, "And hopefully we won't be in any more battles."

"But- please?"

She had a cute pout on her face, and Thorfinn almost found himself saying yes. Until he remembered how he learned to fight. "No," he said, "besides, Einar, Wide Eyes, and Leif all aren't warriors and they get along just well."

"Please!" She insisted and stepped closer. Gudrid was nearly in his personal space and it was weird how he was noticing that more. He always noticed people's proximities to himself, but with her it was something he nearly sought out sometimes. But Thorfinn didn't know how to deal with it, so he ignored it for the most part. It was nice when she initiated it though.

"Why don't you ask Hild?" he deflected.

"She only has the one crossbow." Gudrid answered. "So the only time I would be able to use it would be if she were separated from it, which would already be a bad situation. Teach me your cool-" She threw a few punches in demonstration, "-y'know?"

Thorfinn found himself smiling. Her technique could use some work, at least so she wouldn't hurt herself if she ever really tried to clock someone. He could teach that, right?

He breathed out in resignation. "Fine."

She jumped in the air with a cheer, and rushed forward to give him a hug, which he returned after the surprise wore off. And then they held each other a moment too long.

They both stepped back with blushes, Thorfinn coughed awkwardly, remembering their conversation from a week earlier.

Thorfinn was still trying to figure out his feelings for Gudrid so he could give her a right proper answer. He was getting closer, he could feel it. Although there was the strange paradox: The method of figuring out how he felt was being around her, but when he was around he found it hard to think! Why was this so hard for him!

"Okay, let's start with your stance."

Just focus on business, he told himself. Not on her as a woman.

Gudrid got into her fighting stance. It wasn't so bad actually.

"Put your feet a little wider," he commented, "Keep your arms closer to your ribs."

He stepped back once she followed his instuctions. "Now, punch!"

And she did. She had a bit of power for one so small. Now more focused with his task of teaching her, Thorfinn stopped thinking of her as a woman who was in love with him.

His first mistake.

He grabbed one of her fists and to find it was held right. No broken thumbs for her. "Someone already teach you how to make a good fist?"

"Uhh, no, I just… am I doing it right?"

"Yeah." He let go of her hand, and walked around her. From the side he decided to see how sturdy her stance really was, and gave her a shove.

She stumbled with a "Hey!"

"Try and make your stance stronger."

"My stance is plenty strong, you're just stupid strong." She muttered.

Was he?

"Either way if you could stand strong against me than just about nobody could push you around. Not that anyone can now really."

"You think so?" she asked with that cute blush.

"Totally. You stood up against Thorkell the tall, and lived."

"That's not exactly…" she muttered, "But I'll take the compliment."

"Anyways," Thorfinn said with a clap, "You already have the basics of a good punch, what more do you want to learn?"

"What else do you want to teach me?"

Thorfinn thought a moment. It was nice to be close to her… and it was all to help her. It wasn't like teaching someone how to defend themself was going to further the cycle of pain.

"You want to know how to break a hold if someone grabs you?"

"Sure!"

"Grab my shoulders so I can show you," he told her.

Gudrid followed his instruction and set her hands on his shoulders.

"I'll go slowly." Going so she could see what he was doing, Thorfinn grabbed her shoulders and twisted so that she was thrown off balance, stepping forward he used his momentum to off foot her. Without much effort she fell, but he caught her before her back hit the ground.

She was breathing heavily, eyes wide and face red. They stayed that way a moment too long, before Thorfinn set her down gently.

"You got that?" he asked, surprised at how hoarse his voice sounded.

Mutely, she nodded.

He helped her up and they set up for her to try.

Thorfinn set his hands on her shoulders and tried to not notice how she shivered. He didn't quite know what to expect when she went for it full speed. She had a surprising amount of force and threw him to the ground. Thorfinn hadn't let go of her shoulders though, and she followed him in his fall. He landed with a hard thud, knocking the wind from him. Gudrid didn't help, slamming into him from above.

It took a few moments for them to gain clarity again, Gudrid recovered faster. She didn't move though from where was basically straddling him. He thought she would move, though a part of him didn't want her to. She didn't move.

He was about to say something when her hands moved from his chest to his neck and then to cup his face. It was then that Thorfinn realized he was still holding her by her shoulders. He drew her in closer, not quite sure what he was thinking.

Who was he kidding, he wasn't thinking, he was just doing. Judging from the confused madness in Gudrid's expression, she felt the same as him. She was closer now, he could feel her breath, and the whisper of the heat of her skin on his face.

She'd closed her eyes and Thorfinn felt himself do the same, and then their lips were touching.

Kissing!

They were kissing!

What?

And despite his lack of experience or knowledge on matters such as these, Thorfinn kept at it. Nearly unconsciously, his hands moved down from her shoulders to her waist, and he felt the desire to either move his hands higher or lower, but also felt that would be crossing some line.

They parted with a gasp, both breathing heavily now. They made eye contact, a nearly electric spark passing through it, before they dove back into kissing. It was just the touching of lips still until Gudrid surprised him by using her tongue. She also moved her hands into his hair, threading her fingers into the strands. It sent tingles over his scalp and a fire burning under his skin as he tried to keep up with her pace.

Pace. they should be pacing themselves shouldn't they? They were moving too fast.

But honestly Thorfinn couldn't find it within him to care. It was the best he'd felt in a while, physically at least. His hands started to roam lower when abruptly she sat up.

There was a heavy blush on her cheeks and Thorfinn found it endearing.

"I'm sorry," she said finally.

"... What?"

Still not getting off him, she said, "You said you needed time and I tackle you to the ground and start-"

"Don't apologise for that!" he said with a little more force than he meant to. His hands were still on her hips and even through the layers of clothes he liked the feel of the curves of her body. "I mean, that was good," he said, "Right?"

"Yeah."

He hadn't moved his hands. Thorfinn was becoming increasingly aware of that. So was Gudrid as she then furrowed her brows in confusion. She was about to open her mouth to say something when a call for the both of them came.

Quickly, she got off of him and stood up, righting her clothes and hair. She helped him up and they were about to make their way back when she stopped him. For a second he thought she was going to kiss him again, but then she just patted down his hair.

"Sorry," she said, "I sort of messed it up."

"That bad huh? Glad I don't have to look at me."

He had her to look at after all. After a few more moments of fixing, she assured it was as good as it would get.

"You look fine too," he told her on their way back.

"What?"

"Your hair," he explained.

She blushed and nodded.

Once in view of the rest, they acted like nothing had happened.

…

It was about a week later on a cold night on the boat that they finally talked about was taking his turn keeping watch. He didn't mind keeping watch, as sleep came to him hard enough, and left him rather quickly. The nightmares didn't seem as bad, but it was more having people around who cared about him helping than the nightmares actually lessening.

A form approached him where he sat away from the others so as not to disturb them. It was Gudrid.

A small smile formed when he saw her, something that happened more often now.

"Can't sleep?" he asked quietly.

She shook her head, and it wasn't just the dim light that made her features unreadable. "It's cold."

He nodded in understanding and lifted the blanket he was wrapped in as invitation. "Come here then, I'll warm you up."

With some confliction she came to his side and sat, resting her head on the crook of his neck. He wrapped his arm around her and she moved closer. She was trembling.

"Is something wrong?"

After a few breaths of silence she asked, "What were we doing?"

Thorfinn was confused for a moment, having grown content with her in his arms. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean."

Thorfinn took a moment to put his thoughts in order. "I was training you, and then you started kissing me and I kissed you back."

When put like that it seemed almost mundane, though the event was anything but in Thorfinn's mind.

"But why…"

"I don't know," he answered honestly.

"You don't know why you kissed me?" she challenged, "Were you just driven by lust? Or just…" she difted off, "I know you're not stupid Thorfinn."

"I don't know what I'm feeling," he repeated, "I-I just don't know-"

"It's my own fault for doing something so stupid like that," she interuptted.

"I don't know how," he started again, "to say it right. You deserve to be spoken to with better words than mine. I know you're beautiful. And I know you're stubborn. I know you make me feel something I've never felt before and that-" He held her tighter, "-that scares me a little bit."

"It's okay to be scared." she whispered, "I'm plenty scared. Scared this is all some big mistake, scared you'll just use me, scared the risks won't be worth it."

"This isn't a mistake." Thorfinn reassured her, "And I'd never use you."

"Then what was before?" she asked again. "And don't you dare say you don't know."

He closed his mouth, as he was about to say he didn't know. Maybe she was right, maybe he did know and was just too scared to say anything.

"I don't want to disappoint you." he said finally, "You just see the good in me, and I don't want to chain you to me if someday you see all of me."

"I don't just see the good in you. I see the effort to be good that you're making, and how hard it is, how hard the world makes it, and I just want to support you in anyway I can," she said honestly, "You still haven't answered my question."

"Gudrid," he started, "How could I not fall for you?"

She nestled closer, and breathed out, "Knew it."

"You knew it?" he asked, "Why were you so stressed out than?"

"I knew it, but I didn't _know_ it." she explained like it was obvious.

"Or of course." Thorfinn answered like he understood.

"I was being silly earlier," she giggled, and Thorfinn also wasn't quite sure what she was talking about. "I was born in Greenland, this cold is nothing."

"It does make a nice excuse."

When she yawned, he said, "You're tired, go to sleep."

Finally settled in against him, she said, "G'night."

Thorfinn smiled, glad he wasn't alone in the cold night anymore. Glad he was honest. Glad he met Gudrid.

"Goodnight." He whispered back.


End file.
